Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs, and if any of you are 50 something like me and going through the same hell, the roller coaster of emotions that comes with discovering infidelity after 35 years of marriage can be both shocking and disorienting. In this blog, I explore the challenges and triumphs of rebuilding one’s life, reshaping identity, and finding strength in the face of betrayal. From picking up the shattered pieces of a broken relationship to rediscovering self-worth and navigating the uncharted waters of single life, this journey is as much about healing as it is about self-reinvention.
The revelation of a long-term infidelity felt like an earthquake, shaking the very foundations of my existence. The initial shock, anger, and heartbreak were intense, and the process of coming to terms with the betrayal was overwhelming. Add to that the fact the betrayal was with other men, and NO I had no idea. Add to that 5 years before, when I contracted to STD and listened to the convoluted excuses that made no sense, I stayed for the kids and hoped we would reconcile. In hindsight (love hindsight) the reason he never really tried, things got harder, I spent time putting in strategies not to be the ‘nag’ or ‘bitch’, yet confused why he didn’t even want to try – I guess I should have seen the signs! Add the nights awake ‘menopausal sweat’ racing mind as to why was I so dumb, not see the signs. not good enough etc!
So, after a life dedicated to being the career woman, great mum, helping out whenever I could with activities, dealing with health issues and of course the wife – trying desperately to do the best I could, plainly never enough. However, as we say there are always two sides and I know I have my quirks and expectations, plus a heap of medical stuff! I am without doubt I probably never catered to his needs, didn’t listen enough, didn’t put out enough, had too many expectations ….. these things I always felt inadequate about, UNTIL …. I realized I AM ACTUALLY ALLOWED to have feelings!
So, in the coming series of blogs we will discuss all things betrayal, re-invention, and so much more. The biggest shock to deal with, is in this situation how people I considered my world, friends (the family I would choose) just dump and abandon you. Like ghosts of the past, never to be seen again, this cuts to the core and another challenge to navigating and re-defining a new life that is completely different to that I envisaged all my life.
I invite you beautiful people, join the journey, comment and share- lets start to build a world in which we feel comfort and belonging – without judgement and negativity.